Growing Up in Idaho - Playing Army with Real Guns
As an
adventurous kid, making forts was a big deal. My brother Mikey and I had a
total of two tree houses and we also built a few make-shift pillbox forts for
times we didn’t feel like climbing trees to hide out. Also, our friend Richard
came to visit in the summer and the tree houses were not big enough to hold
three growing boys and all their sleeping gear, knives, guns, and candy.
In the
early 1970’s, the new and bigger Saveway Market opened in Salmon. They sold
donuts in their new bakery for $.10 apiece. Those glazed goodies were the best
tasting food we had ever eaten and we could not eat enough of them. The first
week after the store opened, they were giving those donuts away for free. We
boys ate enough of them to put the store out of business! It wasn’t long before
the nice lady behind the counter told us to get lost and stop eating all the
free donuts.
Even
though there was plenty to do, boredom often set in and caused us boys to look
for mischief. Mildly harassing other folks was fun and thrilling and we viewed
our activities as borderline hilarious. Like prank calling unsuspecting victims
in town.
“Is
your refrigerator running?”
“Yes.”
“Go
catch it before it runs away!”
Sometimes
we couldn’t resist calling Mary at the Saveway’s store. She always worked the
till right next to the courtesy phone and we could count on her to answer when
we called.
“Hello
Mary, do you have Prince Albert [tobacco] in the can?”
“Yes,
we do.”
“Let
him out, he’s suffocating!”
We laughed
and laughed. Those were the days before caller ID and number blocking.
Those
were also the days when full time operators worked the switch board at the
phone company.
Marianne
was one of those operators and she was single! She was more than ten years
older than us, but I and a few of my friends had a secret crush on her. She was
one of the prettiest ladies in town. A time or two, during junior high lunch
break, we walked to the phone company to pay her a visit. We also often called
her desk to, “get the correct time.” We didn’t actually care about the time!
Days are timeless when you’re eleven or twelve years old!
Our
favorite tree house was thirty feet up in the top of the tallest tree in our
yard. Mikey and I hounded dad to build it for us. So he did. It took some expert
climbing skills and a lot of bravery to reach that tree fort. After dad was
finished, I courted death and climbed up. Dad was already sitting up there
admiring his handy work. As I was inching my way to the top, he gave me
step-by-step instructions on how to get there without falling and dying.
I
learned just before reaching the floor of the structure, I had to reach way out
like an aerial acrobat, in a near prone position and make a little hop to
propel myself onto the floor. Do that when the wind is blowing and the tree is
swaying in all directions and it was, indeed, like riding a kite blowing in the
wind.
Death
was just around the corner every time Mikey and I played in our new tree house.
Thinking about it, I admit it’s possible that dad was trying to activate our
life insurance policies. I’m not sure. If he was, we foiled his plans and
didn’t die.
During
the heat of summer when the tree was fully covered in leaves, I hid in that
tree house and observed all the activities of everyone on our street. Being
able to remain incognito throughout much of the day was thrilling. The downside
was, mom knew where the tree house was located and if I could not be found to
do chores, the tree house is where she would look first. But I soon learned, if
I laid completely flat on the floor, she couldn’t see me. So, she could wail my
name all day long and nobody would be the wiser.
One of
Mikey’s and my favorite summer activities was to walk up to the city dump and go
exploring. There were numerous things thrown into the giant heaps of other
people’s trash that fit within dad’s law of salvage. For those who don’t know,
the law of salvage meant that anything useful or good that nobody wanted or which
had been thrown away, could be claimed, and taken home and stored for later
use. The prizes I got through the law of salvage were incredible! Bike rims, frames, chains, pipes, worn hand
tools, rusty farm equipment, and ball bearings were only a few of the many
things I salvaged.
Mom
never really bought into the law of salvage. “Who keeps dragging this useless
crap home!?” she yelled. “Get it out of my sight!” After listening to mom, I
realized, some people just don’t get it.
At the
city dump, we mostly just smashed bottles and shot at stuff with our wrist
rockets. Dad bought those for us. The bands were made of surgical tubing. I
could easily hit targets well over fifty yards with that slingshot. No bird or
small animal was safe. Most kids I was friends with had one and knew how to use
it.
One
day, I was low on cash so I searched through the tool shed where dad kept his
yard tools, camping stuff, and other superfluous items that had value. He also
had some of his prizes he had attained through the law of salvage stored in
there! I dug out an old hand-operated egg beater and figured I could make a few
bucks on it if my sales pitch was right. I walked up and down the dirt roads
near my house, knocking on doors, looking for a buyer. Grandpa Hicks bought it,
but only after we dickered on price for a while. His views on the fair price of
antique egg beaters differed quite a lot from mine. I asked for five bucks; we
settled on two.
After
I pocketed the money from my sale and walked off, grandpa called my house and
asked mom if she and dad were desperate and needed money.
“Jeff
just came over and sold me an old, rusty egg beater! Do you guys need help?” he
wanted to know.
My mom
said, “No, dad. We’re doing just fine. I suppose Jeff just needed some candy money.
We’re okay. Thanks for asking.”
When I
got home, I got interrogated. Mom wanted to know why I was selling our family’s
camping supplies all over town. “Candy,” was my only reply.
Most
of my money in those days I used for buying gum and candy. Being an eight or
nine-year-old kid, I often had to get creative to stay flush. Most of my income
I earned in the summer, mowing lawns. I had two, sometimes three lawns that
were mine and Mikey’s responsibility. Dad made a two-wheeled cart that we could
tie to the sissy bar on our bikes so we could tow our old, side-shoot mower
down the road. Pushing a lawn mower across town by hand is not cool–even for
little kids.
I
bought gas for the mower at Dick’s gas station on Main Street. There was no
‘self-serve’ in those days, so Dick would usually come out and fill up my metal
gas can. I never had more than about 50 cents in my pocket, so that’s what he
would charge. I really didn’t internalize that I had just bought a gallon of
gas. I only wanted my can full so I wouldn’t have to keep coming back for more.
A fifty-cent piece was only valuable according to what it could buy…a full can
of gas, a couple packs of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum (my favorite), or four
glazed donuts at Saveway’s. And of course, a couple of Big Hunks or Baby Ruth
bars.
I
viewed economics and finance on a personal level. What would a few cents get me
in the form of food and entertainment and could I buy low and sell high? One
time in sixth grade, I walked to the store during lunch hour, bought a package
of Pop Rocks for 45 cents, walked back to school and sold them to a kid for 75
cents. At that moment, I innocently cashed in on the laws of Supply and Demand.
One
activity that didn’t require money was playing army. Mikey, I and Richard spent
many summer days, fighting tyranny, with real weapons. I had my .22 Marlin long
barrelled rifle, Mikey had his 30-30 saddle gun, and Richard used dad’s old
antique .22 single shot. Our enemies were all the beer bottles laying around.
With little effort, we could gather up enough bottles to shoot to keep us
occupied for hours.
In
those days, a carton of .22 shells was almost free. And for Mike’s 30-30 ammo
we just used reloads from dad’s gun supplies. Of course, during those army
days, we went by our made-up monikers. Mike was always General Foods, since in those
days, he was overweight by at least 50 pounds. Richard was General Electric,
and I…I was Private Soupy Poop. That’s a name I didn’t choose for myself, but I
often literally lived up to the moniker with all the junk food I ate. It never
occurred to us why two generals would be cavorting around with a private in the
war against tyranny, but that’s how we flew.
As a
little kid, I learned to love firearms. And I respected their use. I became a
crack shot with that .22 and I shot up more ammo than could be counted. But in
Mike Hicks’ family, there was no allowance to be unsafe with guns. I learned
the muzzle rule, trigger rule, and target rule as an eight-year-old kid. And
I’ve never forgotten them.
Mikey
was 18 months older than me. That meant I had to tag along behind him when it
came to joining the various groups and organizations we got involved in. A
biggy in those days was the Boy Scouts of America. Every kid I knew, at least
the kids I went to church with and hung out with at school, joined Boy Scouts.
My
life as a young boy scout was best described as “off and on.” I started when I
was eight-years-old by joining Mike’s Cub Scout den. We had activities and
spent a lot of time reading stories from the Boy’s Life magazine, tying knots,
and learning how to sharpen our pocket knives.
By the
time I became a Webelos Scout, I knew enough about knot tying to know a granny
knot from a bowline. And I could set up my own tent and build a lean-to in the
forest. I could also start a camp fire with flint and steal or a pair of D Cell
batteries and some steel wool.
Every
time I huddled over my flint and steal, trying to get a spark into my dry
tender, or when I rubbed steel wool over those D-Cell battery terminals, I
wondered who the hell had invented this method of fire starting? I figured if I
was ever stupid enough to forget my matches, but remember my flint and steel, I
deserved to be miserable and probably freeze to death. The scout motto was, “Be
Prepared!” To me that meant, “remember your matches, you idiot!” I figured if
you’re going to have a motto, why not follow it when it comes to starting a
campfire! Many of our scouting activities seemed pointless to me, but I played
along in order to get the awards.
I
advanced through Cub Scouts and into the Boy Scout program. Doyle was our Cub
Scout leader. He was a skinny guy with big teeth who seemed to prefer the
popular butch hair-do. I liked the fact that Doyle was very devoted to his role
and seemed genuinely interested in us boys and our scout advancement and
experiences. I will always be grateful to him for his presence and devotion to
us.
That
was the first time it occurred to me that some adults volunteered their time so
kids could have fun and learn things. Jack Nelson was another guy that gave up
a huge amount of his time. He was my first football coach in Little League. I
will be eternally grateful to him for teaching me life skills I still use
today.
Nita was
another big influence on me. She was a scout leader that came along when I was
about eleven years-old. She took the time to haul my me and my friends to day
camp and sit and be bored while we participated in the activities. I trusted
Nita and always viewed her like a second mother.
In
fact, when I was sixteen years-old, I was one project away from getting my
Eagle Scout Award. She came up to me one Sunday during church meetings and
asked me why I wasn’t still working on my Eagle Award. I didn’t have an answer.
She said, “Get it done and quit wasting time!” So I did. If it wasn’t for her
mild scolding and encouragement, I probably wouldn’t have cared enough to
finish. Kids often need encouragement from someone besides their parents.
Actually, I had all the Eagle requirements fulfilled and had
even had a project reviewed by the Eagle Board of Review two years earlier. But
life happened and all the scout stuff got put on the back burner.
So, at her prompting, I put together an Eagle project
proposal and got it approved by the Eagle project committee–a group of
gatekeepers whose importance hinged on deciding which Eagle projects to reject
and which to allow. There was a lot of deep-furrowed brows and throat clearing
from the lot as I proposed my project. Their motive was to put each candidate
through the rigors of project management from start to finish. There were a
number of hoops to jump through, but in the end, most of the projects proposed
by Eagle candidates were approved. The end game was to get as many boys through
the program as possible. That is, if they had made it that far.
Like so many institutional organizations, the Boy Scouts of
America had built its brand around mystique and sophistication. To sell the
product, they had to convince every boy and his parents that there was value in
achieving the highest ranks offered. They had to convince folks that along the
way, average boys would transform into great men as a result of their
participation in the program.
The plan for my project was to build a large bulletin board
for the high school. I got the idea from dad. By that time, he had been
promoted to high school principal. It was a doable project and dad said the new
school needed a bulletin board. It was a task I could get done quickly.
I talked Mikey and my friend, Drew into helping and we went
to work. Their rewards for helping with my project were an endless supply of soda
pop and a handful of candy bars. Everyone can be bought, if the price is right!
Within a few hours of semi-intense work, we were ready to mount the shiny new
bulletin board on the wall in the high school. I got in touch with the school
maintenance guy who helped install it just outside of the office in the commons
area.
Interestingly, I was in the high school a few years ago which
would be roughly thirty-five years after making it, and my eagle project is
still there, right where I hung it so many years ago. But it has been painted
over a dozen times.
My Eagle final board of review was exactly how I envisioned
it would be. There was a panel of local businessmen, all stern faces, sitting
in a room in the church building. I felt like they had all gotten together
before that solemn meeting and discussed the list of deep and dark questions about
my scouting experiences and all I had learned over the years of camping and earning
awards.
So, as I sat and fielded questions for half an hour, it was
really all about regurgitating knowledge and wisdom gained from my numerous
life experiences and the school of hard knocks. I actually pulled little
information from my collective revue of campouts, scout meetings, earning
awards, or from singing Kumbaya around a campfire. But the Eagle panel didn’t
need to know that and I didn’t flaunt the fact. I played along so I could get
the award.
The panel was impressed with my answers and collectively,
they decided that I was deserving of the highest rank offered by the Boy Scouts
of America. I was going to get my Eagle award! My Court of Honor was held a
week after the panel Board of Review. It all seemed to me like a bunch of
formality to give the process a flair of sophistication. They could’ve handed
me the award over a stack of hamburgers at the A&W Drive-Inn and I probably
would have been just as happy.
But we human beings sometimes prefer formality over frivolity
when it comes to marking life’s achievements. And there’s nothing wrong with
that!
And that’s how it was for me, Growing Up in Idaho.
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